Tell us, XFINITY, CableWiFi and HOME-7F0C-2.4, did it ever occur to you that your Wi-Fi names are really, really boring?
No offense, though! Generic is good! It’s so much better than “Quick, everybody out, NOW – before somebody connects to ‘remote detonator’!!!”
As the Michigan news site M Live reports, a patron of a Planet Fitness in Saginaw Township was looking through available Wi-Fi connections on Sunday evening when he noticed one named just that – “remote detonator.”
He brought it to the attention of the manager, who promptly evacuated the 24-hour gym and called police. According to Saginaw Township Police Chief Donald Pussehl, a bomb-sniffing dog made a sweep of the premises, but it didn’t turn up any explosives.
Nothing can be done to make the Wi-Fi naming wit change his or her alarming network name, Pussehl said: it’s speech that’s protected under the First Amendment. Pussehl:
Everything is perfectly legal from a police standpoint. There was no crime or threat. No call saying there was a bomb.
Fine, “remote detonator,” fine. We’ll see you your incendiary title, and we’ll raise you a virtual fortune cookie plea for help. Naked Security’s Paul Ducklin says he was once war-training through Sydney – that’s like war-biking, as in, measuring Wi-Fi security, but without the bike – when he came across a very not-boring Wi-Fi name:
I was travelling to Rooty Hill. I wanted to see how well Wi-Fi scanning worked at 100km/hr from inside a train carriage – very well, it turned out – and I came across the ESSID “Help I’m stuck in this router”, which made me laugh.
But perhaps I should have called the emergency services?
Maybe! But if we’re going into reactionary mode in response to Wi-Fi names, somebody really needs to call a urogynecologist for whoever owns that It Hurts When IP network that Steve Aoki came across.
Triton Secure
when I activate the hotspot on my phone, there’s a laugh from those around me… It’s called, “You have three unread messages”
TonyG
Bit like some of the “clever” email names I come across and people wonder why their CVs don’t do well. If you want a professional job, at least use a professional sounding email even if it is only Joe_Bloggs_637@gmail/outlook/hotmail
Mike
Another clever name is to call out your neighbor because of the noises that occurs overnight… It’s so difficult to socialize theses days with so much technology around…
chimel23
Apparently there was one with “I can hear you you having sex” and the response “I can hear you not having sex” lol. Also the “shut your dog up” or something like that.
Mahhn
lol :) you’re giving me ideas I shouldn’t have lol
Chris
Years ago BMW had a shop tools network called ISIS. We had an SSID named STATE-CITY-ISIS for several years that shop diag equipment connected to. Think UT-SL-ISIS. Well we got a visit from the FBI, and explained it to them (even showing them the sticker on the rack). Then spent a day changing the wifi info on everything. Stupid terrorists. Now BMW’s shop network is called ISPI-Next, so here’s hoping the next faction won’t call themselves ISPI.
KENNETH SMITH
my favorite is CIA TRUCK
Mary Johanssen
My network is Aunty Mary’s Left Testicke
Anonymouse
Mine is named “This dick.” One of my friends flatly refused to use it for about 6 months because he refused to get on “This Dick”
Anon
I really don’t understand how anyone could possibly think this was cause for evacuating a building.
Bryan
how anyone could possibly think this was cause for evacuating
Not very discreet, the chances of a true detonator being named as such are infinitesimal.
HOWEVER
If your business is open to the public and this was spotted on your premises, will you risk the resultant lawsuit(s) from having known in advance there was a life-and-death risk to your customers? Even if you only care about the bottom line and have no value for human life, you’d spend decades in court and bankruptcy.
It’s stupid in hindsight, but I’d be surprised to see any business take the risk without evacuating.
Shawn M
Mines been FBI SURVEILLANCE VAN 013 for years
Anon
I think I remember that from the Sophos partner conference a few years back during James Lyne’s demo!
chimel23
Then there’s the Canadian spoof, RCMP Survelience Horse.
Beez
You must live around Ireland 32.
Mary Johanssen
The house network where I used to live had the network name “Shi*y D-Link worthless crap”
Dave
One of my personal favorites is “Pretty fly for a Wifi”. Got a good laugh from that one!
Marco
That’s what my network is.
detinsley1s
I’m surprised that they didn’t consider this a crime, since it doesn’t seem like free speech. There are loopholes to the First Amendment and one of them is a person is not allowed to cause a state of panic. For example, he or she is not allowed to yell “fire” in a crowded room. To me, this fits that description, since it caused a state of panic.
Everett
I have to ask. What part of using an SSID that is “remote detonator” doesn’t seem like free speech? How is that name causing a state of panic? Let’s use your EXACT example as a corollary. If the SSID was instead “fire,” are you saying that would cause a state of panic? I know it shouldn’t. So I why would “remote detonator?” I ask having been in the U.S. Army and knowing full well what a detonator is. Did you know there is a band called Anthrax? If I sent a CD from that band to a friend, and then emailed them, “Hey I sent your Anthrax to you in the mail.”, would I be guilty? No. For the same reason you’re not going to slippery slope and SSID of “remote detonator,” into this nonsensical interpretation of “outside” of freedom of speech. If a few people claim a state of panic after you read aloud a menu, does that mean you should be found guilty and thrown in jail? Of course not.
Chris
I honestly can’t see how anyone took “remote detonator” as a serious bomb threat. That’s obviously a joke, and I bet that man felt rather silly after getting the entire building evacuated, bomb squad called in, and all for nothing. Although it is an important lesson I suppose when it comes to wireless network naming. What might be an obvious joke to you might not be to someone else. Personally I’m a huge fan of creative/funny wireless network names. I’ve had some variation of FBI Surveillance Van 17 for years. I used to have ISIS Mainframe for years as well before the Islamic State ruined that one for me (and no, the password was not “Guest,” hehe – if you watch Archer you may understand this joke/reference). Since then I have shortened mine to just “Mainframe” because I don’t actually want a visit from the FBI.
Bryan
In early March I was on my third course of Netflix Archer when I noticed in the upper left
“this show is available until March 14th”
I tried to cram one more complete season but didn’t make it.
:,(
Such a fun show. Incredibly stupid, but quite brilliant in subtle ways. Lots of fun. Even my GF watched last year; began lukewarm but really enjoyed (belly laughter) it by season’s end.
Glad your passwd wasn’t guest. Poor Cyril.
Mike
I usually use one of the more complex ascii emojis for the name. The router setup UI sometimes disallows SSID names with special characters, but pasting them in usually works. In any case, it’s fun. Alternately, putting a non-breaking space as the ID can cause all sorts of interesting phenomenon.
Doug G
I like “Tell your WiFi love her”
Sam
Mine is Wife-High
tWiZzLeR
Mine is SpaceballOne
chimel23
I’d love to call mine Bothan Spynet or The Holonet lol.
Gilli Jamtin
I once named mine ‘DialUp_28.8k’ but I like ‘IP Daily’ which is on the other side of the hedge from me!
roleary
Mine is Pete’s Wifi.
First because it’s unremarkable and won’t draw attention let alone cause panic.
Second because there’s nobody called Pete in the building.
Scott Johnson
There is a Wi-Fi near my house called “FBI Surveillance Van”. Never once did I think about calling the police to find out why a foreign agency is working in Canada.
Beez
What really bites…ssid: hidden network
Wtf! What ever neighbor did this should never be thirsty again. So mad!
Jonathan Grace (@jongraces)
at home one time I came across one I’d never seen before called “Police Surveillance Van” and it wasn’t fake , neighbor’s house was raided that evening. lol….
Dave Howe
I have a bunch of little chinese devices made by a company called “Zsun” that are about £8 each – there is a replacement firmware image for them that lets you install openwrt, and set up a bunch of AP network names.
I currently have one set to “TV Detector Van #3” and you can power it up just by plugging the thing into one of those little power banks, so I have been known to leave one running in my car….
Anonymous
Mine is currently “Searching…”
Only two visitors have fallen for it so far.
Verdon
The two best I’ve seen were “free wifi upstairs bring beer” and “virus server”.
Melisa
I have a neighbor whose is “Tell My Wifi Love Her”. cracks me up everytime.